I hate this. Hate it, hate it, hate it.
I think there’s a tendency for girls to be desensitized to nice guys doing and saying nice things. It happens all the time, right? So it’s always going to be there. You don’t have to earn it.
But for other guys…they might act like jerks 3 or 4 times out of 5, but the times they don’t mean more because of it. (This is absolutely ridiculous, but I’m trying to see through the eyes of a girl here). It’s more ‘special’ somehow, because they feel like they’ve tapped into some unknown resource. And the ones that do always do good things? Left in the dark.
WHY ON EARTH is this bothering me so much? I knew this would end badly when I let myself feel this way about her…I just didn’t think it would happen so quickly. It gets to the point where a less faithful guy would give up. Surely no amount of love and sharing and caring could possibly be worth all the pain, all the times you feel like you are getting jammed in the side by a needle or punched in the stomach. But I’m so sure that it will be (would be) that I can’t help but fall head over heels over and over again – no matter how many times I end up kicked in the teeth by the side of the road.
Sigh. I said I wouldn’t let this bum me out, but it is – and it does.
P.S. I got Michelle’s thank you card, that she didn’t tell me she was sending, for her birthday present when I got home last night. Above all else, that’s why she is the most incredible girl I’ve ever met and probably ever will meet – no matter how nice I am to her, she has never, not even one time, taken it for granted, even unconsciously. With only a couple of tweaks, I want a girl who is almost exactly like her.