Monthly Archives: May 2009

Everything just seems so much BETTER these days. Funny what a great girl can do to your life.

We had our 3rd date on Friday. It went just as amazing, probably more so, as the first two. And we have our 4th today. And this is my first-ever 4th date. EVER.

But it doesn’t feel like a milestone…it feels like a stepping-stone. Because I think this girl might be around for quite a while.

A. Bob


So on Monday night, I took Amy to see Star Trek. About 10 minutes into the movie, she assumed a sitting position where her left hand was in the space between our seats. Now, I’m pretty thickheaded in general when it comes to signals, but that seemed pretty obvious to me. But I was nervous, so I didn’t do anything about it. She eventually pulled it back, but a little later she put her hand right in the same spot. After a few minutes, I gathered up my nerve and held a girl’s hand for exactly the second time in my entire life. And we held hands the rest of the movie.

Before and after, we had a good conversation, not about anything specific. We talked about what movies we liked, what we liked to do in our free time – she’s into RPGs – and other stuff. Nothing serious. At the end of the date, even though I’d said I wouldn’t do it, I kissed her. For a while, actually. She seemed to like it.

I decided Tuesday to violate every rule in the book and call her to see if she wanted to do anything when I found that the Northridge tennis regionals had been rained out. Eventually, we decided to go walking at the mall. She didn’t arrive until 9, though, and the mall closed at 9. So to Barnes and Noble we went. We talked for an hour, until it closed. I held her hand some more. Then we went to Steak and Shake for ice cream, and talked. We talked about our families, our lives, our past experiences dating. Neither of us have a lot of the latter. I held her hand and stared at her for a minute at a time without saying anything…I couldn’t help it. She looked so gorgeous. Then, we walked around the parking lot. A few times. Eventually, it started raining, so…we kissed in the rain. It was everything I would’ve hoped it would be…not because of kissing in the rain but because of who I was kissing. She called me ‘genuinely sweet’ and said that she could tell when I said things that I was being truthful (I was).

I told her when I was holding her next to her car right before she left that I didn’t understand how I could like her so much so soon…and I’m not kidding, I do. She seems an incredible girl, beautiful, sweet, funny, with a smile that melts me and a voice that makes me smile to hear. She told me in reply, “If you figure it out let me know…so I can figure why I like you so much too.”

I don’t know if I’ve ever been so happy.

A. Bob

Okay. After arranging and going on a second date with her…

I’m crazy about this girl. I won’t jinx it by saying what I’m feeling…but oh my gosh do I like this girl.

We kissed in the rain tonight…neither of us had done it before. I haven’t stopped thinking about her since I left.

A. Bob

I just had the most wonderful first date I’ve ever had. I like the girl so much already that it’s almost scary…and the unbelievable part is that she likes me too.

I’m really excited but nervous.

A. Bob

My visit to Muncie was amazing. As always…

Saturday night, I went with Levin and Kim to the bars. I was hoping it would just be a me and Kim thing, but Levin coming along helped. Incredibly close as I am with Kim, I’m still not the best talker, you know? So Levin coming along helped. Kim said one thing to me that really warmed me. Her boyfriend passed along a message to us letting us know to take care of her (he doesn’t drink). I hugged Kim and told her that of course I would take care of her – she knew that. Then she said that she’d told him that if there was anyone that J.D. didn’t have to worry about whether they’d take care of her, it was me. I didn’t react that much to it, but it was just another wonderful, wonderful thing to hear.

Anyway, we had fun. I found I love Captain and Cokes, even more than I thought I did. Kim apparently drinks vodka cranberries. I paid for all her drinks because I owed her from her 21st birthday. Paid for her Taco Bell afterwards, too. You could say I’m kind of nice to people I really care about. That was all we did Saturday, because both Kim and Levin have been going to sleep earlier than I have.

Sunday, I went to church, then went to lunch at Applebee’s with Kim. I wanted to see her one more time before I left, because, as always, I never know when I’m going to see her again, so I want to spend as much time with her as I can. And that’s when the second awesome Kim thing happened: I realized that I still had Melanie’s phone number in my wallet. I’d kept it when she gave it to me, just on the off chance that she was The One, that I’d have that as a memento. Obviously, that wasn’t necessary any more. She asked me if I’d talked to her, and I said I’d erased all record of her number from my phone, then realized I still had the piece of paper. When I got the paper out, I handed it to Kim, who promptly ripped it into little pieces without even glancing at it.

Now, I’ve never been explicitly defended by a girl about a girl. I know a lot of people have. But that was sort of the first time that happened to me, anything like that. It was a really nice feeling – knowing Kim was annoyed enough by what had been done to me that she needed to show me somehow. After we ate, I took her home, and I hugged her at least twice and told her I loved her, like I always do. I always do that with her – not with anyone else for some reason. But I do it with her so that just in case something horrifying happens that that’s the last thing I said to her.

Then I went to Subway to see Taryn and Katie. It’s funny, I met Taryn because she is Katie’s best friend in college, having only met Katie because she randomly added me on Myspace. So my story of knowing Taryn is incredibly lame. And the only time I had ever seen her in the flesh before yesterday was Nov. 2, 2007. But at some point, we started talking, and because she was/is the only person in my life that I can be totally certain is going to reply to me no matter what I say, we started talking a lot. She now knows more about me than maybe anyone, possibly including Kim. Anyway, I went to see them because I haven’t seen either of them since that day. And I wasn’t expecting to have much fun, but I actually did. Taryn is incredibly easy to get along with, which I knew already through texts and IMs but hadn’t seen in person before. Katie didn’t talk much, to me anyway. I already knew that for whatever reason, I was closer to Taryn than Katie, but I guess I hadn’t thought a lot about the fact that Taryn is now closer to ME than Katie is to me, too. Katie, for instance, hadn’t even known what I’d done the other night til Taryn told her.

Anyway, I went mini-golfing with Levin after that, beat him by seven shots, and listened to him talk about what he’d be doing in New Orleans. It’ll be weird not having him around anymore. But, slowly, I’ll eventually have to face the reality of that situation…Hell, Kim’s openly talked about wanting to leave the state, and since I know she’ll be able to…ugh, I don’t even want to think about that. I’ve never had to deal with a best friend moving away, and it might kill me when she does.

But, it was an incredible weekend. I’m still on a high from it.

A. Bob

I haven’t been in a good mood for this many days in a row in a while.

Wednesday, as I already said, was great. Thursday, work went pretty well and I had another great talk with Kim. (This time, she responded to a joke I made about moving on to the next girl silly enough to enter my life by telling me she’d be a lucky one. I love how she knows I need to hear this stuff without me making it TOO terribly obvious…and I love that someone like her sees this stuff in me.) Also, a Facebook status joke I made about Jake Peavy’s rejecting a trade to the White Sox resulted in a four-way debate about the merits of the Sox and Cubs that lasted 130 status comments, a nearly unbreakable mark.

And Friday, I had dinner at Granite City with family, made some decent money at work, and just finished running two miles again after I finished work. I LOVE the way my legs feel – hardened and battle-tested. I’ve felt really good about myself physically lately and I really like that feeling. I honestly feel like I’m going to be attractive soon once I start seeing the results of Project 200. Running in the morning is AWESOME. It’s too bad my schedule pretty much precludes me from doing so. This could be a situation where I could start running after work, though. I like it even more than running at night. Even though it was my hardest run yet.

Today, I’m going to Muncie after a nap. I miss Kim SO much. Regardless of what I’m going to be doing around Muncie until it’s time for us to go to the bars, I need to go to her house first when I get there and give her the biggest hug I’ve ever given her. I have never missed someone outside my family so much, I don’t think. I think she really misses me too – she’s never been so openly excited about my visits before like she has been about this one. Without her boyfriend around and with most of her friends out of Muncie, she doesn’t really have anyone to talk to, so I think that’s got a lot to do with it. Maybe everyone has friendships like the one I have with her, but I don’t think they do. Ours feels like a rare connection. I’ve told her before that she’s like a sister to me, and I mean it. I’m just as close with her as I am my own sister. Well, maybe not quite as much. But not too far off.

Anyway, that was quite an essay. I’m trying to make it all the way through the music on my iPod, having recently bought the new Eminem and Green Day albums. There aren’t any new ones coming out soon, so I felt like it was time for another ‘shuffle through all the music without skipping any’ endeavor. I had one before and fell about 30 songs short of the end. This time I’m sure between all my driving and my running, I will hit the end.

A. Bob

Today was a great day in a lot of ways. The Cubs lost, but – and this is something that grows more and more common each month – I really didn’t care. Because the rest of my life distracted me.

It was my first planned day off in a long time. A very long time, like close to a month. And not much happened. But sometimes, the little things make it a good day. And today, there were some good little things.

I had to get my car fixed, and it was much, much cheaper than I had expected. 125 dollars. Probably more than it would have been if Ken had done it – this guy charged for labor, which Ken has never done – but it was a relief to get it done. To not have to prop up my brake pedal so the lights won’t stay on and to not worry if my brakes are going to go out is worth it.

I had a long talk with Saphia that made me happy. I’ll have to journal about Saphia sometime, but for now all that’s important is that I talked to her, and it made me happy.

More importantly, I talked to Kim. I have such incredibly strong feelings towards Kim as a friend that the casual observer probably would think I was in love with her. Indeed, these are exactly the kind of feelings I would have confused for love a few years ago, which is part of why everything about me and Kim is so wonderful – I met her at a simply perfect time in my life, the first time in my life when I was able to make friends with a girl without constantly analyzing everything. Of course, I now do analyze quite a bit when it comes to her, but that’s just because I do it with everyone. I can’t help it.

Anyways, our conversation was of little substance – she told me about Eric’s second DUI, his quitting his job at Delta and moving back home. It’s kind of weird how all the jerks I worked with in school are ahead in this world and all the people I was relatively cool with have crashed and burned – or in the case of Chris just don’t like their lives. We talked about baseball, about her relationship with J.D. It really seems like this guy has a big hold on her, and it’s great, because it’s for all the right reasons. I once told her that I liked J.D. even though I hadn’t met him, because from what she told me, he did all the things I wanted to do with a girlfriend (giving her the sweatshirt off his back when she’s cold, carrying her to bed when she crashes on the couch, whatever), hence I was in favor. She told me something I haven’t forgotten – that she could see me doing that stuff too. And tonight was kind of a similar thing. I told her that I was really happy to see her so happy with someone, and that it was adorable how much she missed J.D. I told her that I’d thought to myself that if I could ever get someone to care about me as much as she did him, I’d feel pretty good about things.

And she gave me this. “You’re such a great guy that I don’t see how you WON’T get someone to care about you that way.”

Five years and change after I really decided I wanted a relationship, and it still makes me smile when someone really great recognizes things in me that I want recognized, even if I don’t believe they’re there myself. And even though I haven’t told her before, I think it’s implicit that if a girl as absolutely perfect as my best friend is sees the things in me that I hope some great girl will see someday, that they must be there. Somewhere.

I get to see her – and go back to the only place I’ve ever really felt home at – on Saturday. I cannot wait.

Oh, and the final good thing tonight – I ran two miles without stopping. I’m trying to get under 200 pounds (started at 219). I call it Project 200. That was a big step. Tomorrow I might try a little more.

A. Bob