At the beginning of 2009, I was working 3-4 days a week at a newspaper an hour and a half away, literally making just enough money to pay my car insurance and cell phone bills. I was miserable professionally, personally and every other way.
I exit 2009 in the first (and happiest) relationship of my life, gainfully enrolled in grad school, and still making just enough money to pay my bills. I’m not happy professionally, but it’s hard to argue against the fact that my life has taken a dramatic tick upward.
Happy 2010, everybody.
Well, except for my car failing – again – it’s been a good Christmas.
I don’t have time for a full blog, but…
TWO DAYS. Till I’m back where I belong – home, with Amy. Till I don’t have giant papers hanging over my head.
I’m coming home.
For essentially one day’s work, 25.5 pages isn’t too bad. I have to complete 80. Followed by a 15 page historical paper on public relations for 595, followed by essentially a 10 page paper for 680. So I’m making some progress. If I can double my work up to 51 pages completed by the end of tomorrow, I will feel pretty good about where this is headed.
Christmas is coming. Normally, I have the opportunity to sit back and enjoy the Christmas season. Not so much this year with all the papers. Come December 17th I’ll be able to enjoy the season for all of a week – and that’s if you count frantically shopping for gifts for people as enjoyment – but it should still be fun.
Random gripe: Facebook texts have begun to come so ridiculously long after the events actually occur that I think I am going to get rid of them.
Working for a newspaper is definitely a labor of love. I am giving up the opportunity to go out and drink with my GA friends this Friday night to drive all the way to freaking Emma, IN to cover Central Noble at Westview girls hoops. It is always worth it when I arrive at the destination and get to partake in what remains my life’s passion – covering sports – but it is a very long way to go. But then, that is what my iPod stereo is for. And for the time being at least (knock insanely hard on wood), the car isn’t giving me much trouble.
Anyway, it’s now past 2 am and I have been sitting here for the better part of 6 hours pounding out pages. Somehow I managed to bang out 23 today, which is a mind-blowing number for me – by itself longer than any paper I’ve ever written. Oy. Time for bed.
I hate when I fight with my Amy. I don’t often feel this way anymore, but whenever we get into arguments (and for us, arguments tend to mean more like we both blame ourselves for anything that’s ever gone wrong with us) I am met with the nagging feeling that I’m lucky to have this girl, couldn’t ever possibly deserve her and I shouldn’t be arguing. I get scared. I imagine that will go away in time but it still nags me from time to time. It drives me crazy that I can’t be with her when I want, especially because we never seem to argue when I’m up there.
And lately I really don’t feel like grad school was the right move. I just want a regular-Joe job that pays me a livable wage, doesn’t require stupid or menial labor and allows me to have weekends and holidays off. (I’d waive the ‘weekends off’ thing if I could get a sports-media job, which is still what I really want no matter what my grad-school major is.) Beyond that I’m really not picky. It would seem a college degree was enough to get that but it didn’t work out that way and now I’m down here again, too far from my girlfriend, my friends and my family. And I seem WAY too far from succeeding here.