Monthly Archives: April 2010

Tonight, I officially gave up one of my best friends. One I’d been clinging to hope wouldn’t leave.

Went to the men’s volleyball match tonight for the sole reason of seeing Kim, who but for a 20-minute cameo at a volleyball match a couple months ago (her boyfriend plays for the team), I haven’t seen all school year. This after I saw her a bunch of times over the year and a half that I was living in South Bend post-graduation. We had been, or at least I thought we were, best friends. We talked all the time. She helped me with my daily depression of being a worthless bum living at home, working at Napa, and later IHOP, with a degree. I helped her with the constant drama of being in a relationship with my friend Eric and later with the fallout when that relationship ended. It was the perfect friendship and I thought it would never end.

Although we hadn’t talked as much in the year 2009 thanks to her meeting and dating said boyfriend, we still kept in touch. One of the more touching things that ever happened to me was her calling me the night Amy broke up with me. She was the only person to call me and make sure I was alright. At the time I thought that cemented how important I was to her – in an age where no one calls each other anymore, I got a phone call from a friend to make sure I was ok.

But since I’ve been back she’s disappeared from my life. This is really through little fault of her own. She has a full-time teaching job in Anderson that consumes most of her time, and a boyfriend that, I’m sure, takes up much of the remainder. It’s possible, I suppose, that he doesn’t want her spending time with other guys without him, but I doubt it. I’m inclined to believe that she’s simply re-prioritized her life since getting the full-time job, and there’s not enough room for me in it. I’m not mad at her for that. It’s just the way it is.

Anyway, back to the beginning of the story and the volleyball match I went to tonight. She knew I’d be coming. Said she’d come say hi even though due to her boyfriend’s family being around that she couldn’t stay with me the whole match. She didn’t. Whether she forgot, couldn’t find time, or just plain didn’t want to is none of my business. At one time it would’ve been.

When friendships as close as ours was end, it usually is precipitated by some sort of dramatic event that tears the friends apart – going back to someone the friend disapproves of, a betrayal, a lie, or a slight. But sometimes, the friendship just can’t survive the changing lives. And it’s those friendships that maybe weren’t as close as the person involved thought and hoped they were in the first place.

A. Bob